


Untitled Coffee Addict!Gerard

by Cock_Zero



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen, Humor, coffee addict!gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cock_Zero/pseuds/Cock_Zero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one has seen Gerard eat since he was twenty and his brother and friends want to find out if he really does just live on coffee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled Coffee Addict!Gerard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightingveil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightingveil/gifts).



“So, you’ve never seen him eat?” Ray asked, eyes darting to the basement door leading to Gerard’s room.

Mikey shook his head, pursing his lips for a second. “Not since he was like twenty? Like, all he does is drink coffee. All day, every day. I’ve never even seen him take a box of cereal into his room,” he said. 

Frank stretched and yawned. “Maybe he has some super-secret double life, or. Oh no, wait! Maybe he’s a superhero and has mutant powers so he doesn’t need to eat. Man, that’d be cool,” he smiled.

“Frank, this is the real world,” Mikey groaned, “not a fucking comic book.”

Ray chuckled as Frank pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, it would be cool,” he huffed.

“Yeah, it would, but he’s not a superhero,” Ray started.

“And he doesn’t leave the house enough to have a secret life,” Mikey cut in.

The door of the aforementioned opened and Gerard shuffled into the kitchen, the three younger adults silently watching him as he filled the kettle and placed it on the stove, switching the eye on. He shifted under their gaze, glancing over his hunched shoulders at them. “Stop watching me,” he hissed. Mikey and Ray looked away, Ray focusing on his laptop and Mikey on his phone, but Frank kept his gaze, watching Gerard close. “What?” he snapped and Frank squinted.

“Are you a superhero?” he asked, deadpanned.

Gerard stopped, hand wrapped around his oversized mug, as the room fell silent.

“Like, do you have mutant powers? C’mon, you can tell us,” Frank asked.

“No,” Gerard said flatly. He grabbed the jar of instant coffee, pouring more than enough into his mug and filling it almost to the brim with the now boiling water. He ignored the stares from the three as he stirred milk and sugar into his coffee, dropped the spoon into the sink and went back downstairs, closing the door harder than he necessary.

Frank looked back to Ray and Mikey, both with their eyebrows raised and a smirk on their faces. “Spying?” he asked.

“Spying,” Mikey confirmed and Ray nodded.

“But, we should also try to tempt him. I’m pretty decent at making pancakes so how about I make a big stack tonight and we offer him some?” Ray suggested.

“That sounds great, plus if he doesn’t want them, I’ll eat them,” Frank grinned. “So, who’s staying up all night to see if he sneaks food?”

“You,” Mikey and Ray said in unison.

~

After a failed attempt at offering Gerard pancakes, (to which he replied with a firm ‘I’m not hungry so leave me the fuck alone’) Frank was lounging on the sofa, Ray’s laptop on his stomach. His eyes were heavy and stomach full after eating nine of Ray’s ‘world famous, super thick and fluffy buttermilk pancakes’ and he was having trouble staying awake, even with Netflix on the computer.

Frank remembered watching some b-rated slasher flick but didn’t remember how it ended. He knew he wanted the main girl the get gutted though, but he woke up to the dull winter sun streaming through the open curtains and the smell of coffee from the kitchen. He groaned, pushing himself up and wiped the drool from his cheek. He didn’t remember turning the computer off and setting it on the floor.

“You’d better be glad I was up last night and caught Ray’s laptop before it fell,” Gerard said, his large mug in his hand. “You know how much Macs cost. He would have killed you.”

Frank hummed and stretched. _Shit, he probably got food and I fucking missed it, _he thought. “Kettle still boiled?” he asked, yawning behind his hand.__

__Gerard hummed in response, taking his mug of coffee back downstairs and leaving Frank in the kitchen._ _

__Ray entered when Frank grabbed the cereal from the cupboard, patting him on the back as he reached for two bowls. “Any luck?”_ _

__“Nah, I fuckin’ fell asleep,” Frank groaned, taking his bowl. He filled it with cereal and waited for Ray to hand him the milk. “He said he was up last night too and I missed it. He could have gotten food, or magicked something or… or gone out and fed off a human or something.”_ _

__“’Fed off a human’?” Mikey asked, walking into the kitchen. “He’s not a vampire, even if he does spend most of his time downstairs.”_ _

__“And how do you know?” Frank inquired. He sat at the table across from Ray and watched Mikey make toast. “Have you checked him for bites? Or seen if he has normal, or normal enough, teeth?”_ _

__Mikey sighed and Ray laughed into his cereal. “Frank, he was just up here,” he stated. Frank opened his mouth to argue but Mikey continued. “It’s daylight, sunlight is coming into the house, he was standing in the sun,” he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “He’s not a vampire.”_ _

__“Fine, but there’s something strange about him and we’re gonna find out what,” Frank said, resigned._ _

__Ray nodded while Mikey took the butter out of the fridge, waiting for his toast. “So, what’s the next plan of attack?” he asked, looking up from his empty bowl._ _

__“Probably wait until he leaves for some reason and search his room for food,” Mikey suggested._ _

__“How are we gonna get him to leave?” Ray asked and Mikey shrugged._ _

__He grabbed the hot toast from the toaster and buttered it while Ray cleaned his dishes and Frank poured himself a second bowl of cereal. Mikey opened the fridge again, placing the butter inside and tapping his fingers against the open door. “Gerard, we need to go grocery shopping!” he shouted, startling Frank._ _

__“We went last week!” Gerard shouted back. “Ugh, fine!” he groaned. There was a dull thudding before he made his way upstairs. The door opened and Gerard was pulling on a hoodie, his hair sticking up in the odd place as he smoothed it with his hands. “Well?” he asked, staring at his brother._ _

__“Let me eat my breakfast first, Jesus Christ,” Mikey said, rolling his eyes._ _

__Gerard groaned again and walked to the kettle, filling it and setting it on the eye to boil. He grabbed a travel mug and the instant coffee, frowning when he opened the jar._ _

__Ray had grabbed his laptop and was turning it on while Frank finished his second bowl of cereal. He was watching the brothers, Gerard waiting for the kettle to boil and Mikey slowly eating his toast. Mikey’s eyes flashed over to the basement door and Frank gave a short nod, understanding the plan._ _

__They’d have an hour at the most to search Gerard’s room._ _

__Five minutes later and Gerard and Mikey were out the door. Frank and Ray waited another minute before heading downstairs._ _

__The air in Gerard’s room was thick with the smell of coffee and febreze and Frank gagged. “Does he ever air this room out, fuck,” he coughed._ _

__“C’mon, we only have so long to look,” Ray said and headed farther into the room. “And try to make sure you put things back where they were. We don’t need Gerard to know we were in here.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah,” Frank said, flapping a hand at his friend. He dropped to his knees and nearly dove under the bed, dragging out a box while Ray looked through the waste basket. He yanked the lid off and grinned. “Oh, hello,” he purred. “Gerard’s been holding out on us.”_ _

__“What? What is it?” Ray asked, crawling over the bed. “Aww shit, man,” he said, whistling._ _

__Frank picked up the bong, weighing the thick glass in his hands for a second. “Why didn’t he let us in on this? Fucking thing is a beauty and way better looking than mine and that shitty thing of Mikey’s we’ve been using.”_ _

__“Well, we don’t normally smoke with Gerard since he’s always holed up in here,” Ray replied._ _

__“True,” Frank hummed. He set the glass item back in the box, next to the quarter full bag, and closed the lid. He slid it back under the bed and wandered over to the dresser, searching through all of the drawers._ _

__“Anything?” Ray asked, shutting the bathroom door._ _

__“Nothing,” Frank sighed. “Not a damn scrap of food or a crumb or even a wrapper.”_ _

__They both walked back up the stairs to the living room, dropping down to the couch. “Maybe he really does live off coffee,” Ray suggested. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on whilst Frank slouched down the couch._ _

__“I still think he has mutant powers,” he said, tapping his foot._ _

__“I know you do,” Ray hummed._ _

__~_ _

__Frank woke suddenly, his dream fading like smoke as he blinked into the dark room. Something woke him and he wasn’t sure what until his mind came back online. He had to piss and badly. Pushing himself up, he stumbled out of the bed in the Way’s spare room and shuffled to the bathroom across the hall. After relieving himself and washing his hands, he left the room and crossed the hall again, stopping when he heard the faint scraping of plastic on metal. With a frown, he walked down the hall and towards the kitchen, seeing a dim light coming out from under the door._ _

__Quietly, Frank pushed open the door._ _

__Gerard was standing at the stove, his back to the door and pajamas wrinkled. There was a plate on the counter and a spatula in his hand and Frank frowned again._ _

__“What are you doing?” Frank asked._ _

__Gerard jumped, spinning around and staring wide eyed at the younger man. “Um, m-making myself a grilled cheese?” he replied, uncertain of his answer._ _

__“So, wait,” Frank started, looking to the floor. Gerard had grabbed the pan when he looked back up, scrapping the sandwich out and setting it on the plate carefully. “You actually do eat?” Frank blurted out._ _

__“What? Of course I fucking eat,” Gerard scowled. He cut his sandwich in half, setting the knife in the sink. “What? Did you think I was a robot or some shit?”_ _

__Frank blinked at him, watching Gerard grab his mug and plate. “No-we thought you only drank coffee. Like, you lived off it or something.”_ _

__“That’s fucking- oh my God, Frank. Fucking really? Do you know how bad my organs would be damaged if I only drank coffee?”_ _

__“Well, you never eat so, we thought…,” he trailed off, waving his hand around near his hip._ _

__Gerard tilted his head, waiting for Frank to continue before he spoke. “I don’t like eating in front of people so I only do it when everyone is either gone or asleep,” he stated._ _

__“Well, how were we to know that?” Frank gawked as Gerard made his way to the open basement door._ _

__“You could have just asked,” Gerard said, leaving him in the dim light coming from over the stove._ _


End file.
